“Violet Town, I’ve always wanted to go there.”

“Why is that?”

“The name. It sounds beautiful.”

It does seem that a lot of people were caught by the name and the next thing they knew, they were veering off the Hume highway, somewhere between Euroa and Benalla, for a looksee. The little town is edged by flat paddocks dotted with sheep. At dawn and dusk, you have to look closely to see that oftentimes, those sheep are in fact kangaroos, out for their feeding time.

People fall for this picturesque setting, the space, wanting room for their children to roam and run free. Others have been here for generations, farming the land- cattle, sheep, produce, wineries.

It is the type of town where people often leave food on the front doorsteps- excess of fruit or veggies, or a cake they have made.

Within the township, we find lots of streets named after flowers: Lily Street, Tulip Street, Daphne Street, Rose Street and Primrose Street.

We also find a quaint school that forms three little regional schools, “working together as one”. There are campuses at Baddaginnie, Strathbogie and Violet Town.

Many families travel from the surrounding towns and farms to attend the Violet Town playgroup, held at the school.

On a spritely fresh morning on the cusp of winter, families with babies and toddlers gather. This is their meeting place, kick started by Abbey Ferguson.

Abbey was nominated as a local Playgroup Champion. Among finding a location for the group, she has applied for many grants, supporting the group with toys and art supplies. She had postcards made as a fundraiser and compiled homemade gifts for raffles so that the playgroup can remain free and accessible: “this includes funding snacks so that even those who are without at home, can bring their children to playgroup and have food equal to those around them,” said Trudy, a parent who wrote in to share her appreciation for Abbey.

“There is no playgroup like our Violet Town playgroup within 30km so many of the families travel in excess of 30 minutes to attend due to Abbey's far-reaching advertising and incredibly inspiring play environment that she has created for the children.”

Trudy said that you will find Abbey on holiday breaks, sorting through the toys and equipment to make sure the puzzles have all the correct pieces and the items aren’t falling apart or a danger, keeping everything updated and fresh.

“We are in awe of her tireless work for the children of our small town communities, thanks Abbey!”

There are all sorts of stories housed in playgroups and this playgroup is not any different.

While Tara is a fourth generation local to Lima down the road, Yasmin is from London and married an Aussie who has links to the area.

Both mothers found a non-judgmental space where they can relax at playgroup.

“I remember the first time I came with my middle child, when he would have been two,” said Tara, “I didn’t know anyone from the Violet town area, I had hardly ever been to Violet Town but instantly coming here, Abbey is so welcoming and made it really easy so then it wasn’t scary to come back.”

“I always tell people, I tell all of my friends to come to playgroup, you will meet Abbey and she will make it fine. She really helps to not make it daunting. She helps, she actively tries to help to direct anyone. If anyone is quiet she will make sure that they can get chatting. She is really good at building friendships for everyone.”

“Apart from running this playgroup, she really does pay attention to who is here and what they need to make it good.”

Yasmin’s first born was 15 months old when she had twins. She describes the experience as “Wild” with a laugh. This was during Covid. Her Mum could not come over and neither could her husband’s parents. After two weeks, her husband was back at work. It does sound like Yasmin deserves accolades, at the very least a round of applause.

“It was hell,” laughs Yamin, “at the start, beautiful now. They are bigger and can do stuff themselves. At the beginning it was so rough, it was so rough. I don’t know how you could do triplets.”

For Yasmin, it has been a relief to get to playgroup and to find another avenue to herself, to the world.

“I needed to get out and get to playgroup, I need to get out and speak to people.”

“We found the playgroup and I think this is such- I love it- it’s such a cool group.”

Yasmin too found that Abbey has made the experience an enjoyable one.

“It’s really warm, inviting, very much so. Abbey, she is just warm, you walk in and there is always a hello, there’s always a big smile, a ‘how are you going’. All the people here are really nice, everyone just sits and chats and it’s not cliquey, not a lot of groups go off so much and I would say a lot of that is because of Abbey and Paige will go and speak to people. Nook [a fellow mum] does not speak much English and Abbey will bring her into conversations and stuff. It’s very inclusive. It is inclusive, that is how I would describe it.”

Tara nods along in agreement:

“The non-judgmental approach which I have noticed compared to some of the other playgroups and things we have been to. If your kid is playing up or they are having a grumpy day you feel like you are disturbing everyone, like I better take him home, whereas here, all you get every time is, ‘Oh my kids play up too’, ‘Oh it so hard sometimes isn’t it’. It is very reassuring, so then if your kid is not cooperating or anything you don’t feel bad so I think that is a massive benefit of this playgroup.”

Emily has been coming to this playgroup for three and a bit years, even before she had her firstborn, Marlow.

“When I was pregnant I did come to playgroup because I wanted to meet everyone first which was really good and a lot of the women in playgroup were texting with me. Paige [a fellow group member and playgroup coordinator] is a midwife and was texting with me during my pregnancy, offering support and explaining how stuff would work.”

Furthermore, it was at playgroup that lots of valuable information is sourced, given and offered.

“It is kind of like a little knowledge network because people know who the maternal child health nurses are or they know… people just know things. It is very useful to know stuff and Googling will only get you so far so there is a lot of tacit knowledge that everyone has and it is very sharable.”

Emily loves to see the connections growing right before her eyes- the babies see the big kids at the primary school, they drop in and everyone plays together in the sandpit.

“We get included- I think the pathway of education is really clear and they feel part of that.”

Emily jokes that the playgroup has enabled her to meet people her own age. She has lots of older friends here in Violet Town, lots of intergenerational relationships, which are great and there is an active arts scene which she loves, but sometimes she said it is good for her to chat to another mum at a similar stage to “commiserate with”.

“Also for Marlow, he is far more extroverted than I am and I would be quite happy to potter about at home, reading and painting. Talking to people that I’m very happy to do that, but he loves people so we had to get out of our shell.”

Emily is from Melbourne but always wanted to live in the country: “I like nature, it makes me feel good.”

Emily has been a local for five years now after first discovering Violet Town: “I just thought this is really cute, two hours from Melbourne, it has a train station, it has a pub, it’s not isolated.”

“It’s been a really good move. Unexpectedly brilliant,” she said.

Emily said that there are lots of artists and retired artists living around the area.

“There is a lot going on- there are monthly exhibitions that change at the gallery, there is a readers and writers group.”

There are also singing groups and a monthly market that is a real drawcard in the region.

Marlow goes along and enjoys the concerts and activities. He sings at home “and he gives us concerts, because we have a piano in the middle of our house.”

“We just sing, all the day long, there’s a song for everything and if there isn’t, we make it up.”

Here at the playgroup, the parents genuinely seem to be enjoying their time. Emily said that she really likes parenting.

“He is just lovely. He is just a happy little soul and very independent.”

In the background the kids explore, run and come over for a little cuddle or snack when they feel like it.

“It’s just nice because if you don’t go out of town much, there aren’t that many activities that are super baby friendly. It’s a pain to go to a café because the kids are running everywhere, whereas here we can have a coffee and the babies can run everywhere and it’s fine.”

“That social connection and relaxing is really important. Also, everyone kind of minds each others children a bit so you get a break and even if you are having someone else’s child for a bit, it feels very natural and villagey to do this.”

Villagey it is. There is a cake in the middle of the table and everyone is hoeing in happily. Abbey said it was a ‘mystery cake’ as she wasn’t sure if it was carrot or pumpkin.

“I didn’t make it today,” she is quick to say.

“A friend dropped over some butternut pumpkins and you roast them…a bit of cinnamon.”

Whatever the case, everyone in the group agrees that it is delicious- and a gift. The gift of the homemade. The appreciation of mums with little ones, often running to keep up, delight in a coffee and a piece of cake.

It feels homely here.

Abbey’s husband drops in with books to share.

They have three children together and ended up in Violet Town by chance, after stopping in for petrol on their way back to NSW. Abbey was searching for houses that evening.

Abbey had that community minded spirit. Her parents were not too far away in Bendigo and you can see that she gets the reason why community is important.

Abbey’s background is in the fine arts. She did a degree and honors in Newcastle and her husband is a painter.

The playgroup is a big space with high ceilings but it is cosy warm and colourful, with many artworks hung on the walls. Several of the canvases were decorated by the kinder kids, the school kids, the teachers, parents and playgroupers.

“Which just shows that connection in a small town between the kinder, school, playgroup,” said Abbey.

Abbey by far is the most reluctant person to be in the limelight. You can see that she has a lot of quiet relationships with everyone and has some insight about what it is to be made to feel comfortable.

“When I was pregnant with my son, my oldest one, I had a good idea about what kind of parent I thought I would be- like no sugar, no yelling, no bribes, no TV- all that sort of stuff. I think it has been different than what I thought it would be, but I love it. I think with each child, it has evolved,” Abbey laughs, “but I love it and it’s really nice that I don’t have to be work and I can be at home with them, cooking with them and doing those sorts of things with them.”

Abbey said that she feels like everyone here helps each other out. Paige has been her righthand woman. Others pitch in. The truth is, people are often more inclined to help out, after they have been helped. People are often more inclined to offer kindness after being shown kindness.

“People go, I couldn’t come because my child was in a mood, that’s okay, sometimes the moods dissipate when you are in the room- and that’s okay, they can come in and be in a mood and you can come in a be in a mood as the parent, it doesn’t have to be perfect because a lot of people sit at home and see what parenting looks like on Instagram, what parenting looks like in other families- they might to know what is actually going on behind all that but none of it is perfect- it’s going to be messy and loud and chaotic.”

The family atmosphere comes along with the country town hospitality in part- but that is not a given. As Abbey said, it can be isolating and if that isolation goes on for long stretches, it can be harder still.

Each parent comments about Abbey saying hello and welcoming them. It is these acts of connection that make community playgroups work- and feel natural- because people feel when other people truly care.

“Just come along and have a cuppa,” said Abbey to those new to playgroup, “because people think ‘I have to be there on time, there’s a structured activity, my kids can’t have tantrums’- all the kind of stuff- ‘if we are tired, if we have to leave early’. I think other programs have their place but we do get people that it doesn’t fit for them and that structure is too much because their kids had a tantrum one time and they felt odd- we just come along and embrace the chaos!”

Abbey and the parents at playgroup all share loving moments with their children, amongst the chaos, as the children have shared moments with other parents and other kids. It is safe. It is nurturing. It is ‘villagey’.

Throughout the session, the children return, then play, return, then play.

Abbey is at home with her children at the moment, emmeshed into their family life.

“I think the main thing was, it just got to the point where I thought I would go back or find work, I actually physically can’t, I can’t leave them, it didn’t feel like a choice- I know it is a choice but I felt like I was following what they wanted and what I wanted to do.”

Country living and country support has enabled her family to do that- and the entire community is benefiting. It’s not perfect but it is real. Together they find their way and as we leave playgroup, there is a comfort and happiness that is hard to replicate.

Connect with a local playgroup today: playgroup.org.au/find

Article by Sinead Halliday
Photography by Mylie Nauendorf