A parent stands in an empty playground as their child plays. Yesterday was the same. There is a routine, it is familiar, but there is a slight discomfort. A creeping loneliness of extended disconnection, to the outer world. The little world they have created is beautiful, loving and safe, yet there is something missing. Enter Madeleine Brooks. “Hey,” she says with a smile, “did you know there is a playgroup running over here? You are more than welcome.”
And so that missing part begins to fill.
“Coming out here you have a couple of hours every day, so you have all kinds of funny conversations about everything,” laughs Madeleine, “about arguments at home and how normal is it, or is your kid okay because they are going to this kinder, or how bad is hand, foot and mouth, or world politics and everything gets brought here- and for the parents that’s a really important space.”
Space to be authentic and space to let your guard down while your children are safe to play in a vibrant, engaging space.
“This started because we wanted to pay it forward,” said Madeleine.
Madeleine attends a playgroup on a Tuesday and a Wednesday with her kids that she describes as, “Amazing and have been an amazing community”.
When the opportunity came for a playgroup to open here, Madeleine wanted to create something and give back, all that she receives from the other playgroups she attends.
The playgroup she now leads meets in Prahran Place. The community space is in a corner of Prahran that has a slight feel of a European square. There are leafy trees, a playground out the front and lots of little cafes dotted around the outside.
People from all walks of life come to meet others here at the centre that has been running since 1979- to knit, to learn English, to create, to enjoy yoga, to upskill, to find a sense of belonging in their many social groups.
There is the joy of a senior’s exercise dance class going on, the kind of welcome that uplifts, as families happily make their way into a light-filled room for playgroup, always stopping on their way to spot their favourite moves.
The playgroup is still fresh, having run for a little over a year but Neil, the principal executive officer at Prahran Place, said that the families quickly connected.
“After a couple of months everyone came together, started to share, to communicate and talk and make friends and that’s part of human existence- we all need friends and we all need someone to talk to.”
An old phrase comes to mind for Neil:
“If everyone knows your problem, it’s no longer a problem- and as a parent it’s pretty tough, and if you are a single parent, it’s even tougher. You need someone to talk to, you need someone to connect to, you need to sit down and have a cup of tea, a cup of coffee and just talk to people, be friendly and it changes your day, it makes things a lot easier. Also, when you start talking, you realise your problem is the same problem everyone else has as a parent.”
In another corner of the group, Madeleine echoes Neil’s sentiment.
“All people are the same, we all want the same thing, we all want to feel like we belong somewhere.”
“We want to feel like we’ve got a purpose and that we are doing something good. We all have the same worries, the same things that go on in our houses.”
What Neil and Madeleine describe is that there is so much more that connects us than what segregates us. In an increasingly divisive world, this message is pertinent, especially for parents and carers, young people and all those who quietly feel isolated in their experience.
“It has a huge impact on mental health, but also on accessing services,” said Madeleine of Prahan Place.
“Being a parent is hard, it’s often a massive role change and you have gone from full-time work and being quite out in the world and earning money, to being at home or reduced time working. It is a massive change and so in terms of talking to people or recommending services and saying to people, ‘It’s okay to go and get that help and ask for that help and yes what you are feeling is legitimate’ and supporting people through that and helping them access that.”
Madeleine has created a ritual for the playgroup.
She makes sure that everyone is greeted and offered a cup of tea.
Madeleine was inspired by Helen, who runs another playgroup that she attends. Helen recognised that busy parents don’t often receive a small act of service for themselves. Madeleine has followed Helen’s lead.
“That was really our ethos behind this, to be able to offer an act of service, to give someone a cup of tea.”
“It is only a small thing but it makes a big difference when you have had a full-on day or full-on morning- ‘Would you like a cup of tea?’ and you are made something for you as a mum, or as a parent, as you often give so much.
There is a large contingent of expats and families who have moved interstate here. Madeleine herself was born in New Zealand and raised in East London before going on to be a primary school teacher, living in the Middle East and Vietnam, back to New Zealand and then here to Australia.
Irene Ly is the program manager at Prahran Place and is so pleased that Madeleine has created an atmosphere that welcomes more families into the community house.
“We are a community centre neighbourhood house. We get a lot of people coming in who are quite isolated or just want to meet people in the community.”
“There are a lot of families who live in small apartments here and I’ve noticed a lot of families have just moved here from overseas or interstate. They are finding new friends, getting to know the local community- so it is just a great place to meet each other and ask each other questions, especially the first-time parents.”
Mum Jade simply saw a poster outside and thought, “Perfect. A wonderful way to spend the morning.”
Jade loves the group and finds it comforting from the get-go, primarily because of the warm welcome. She jokes that she has taken on the role as, ‘second in command’ but truly loves to support the group and see it flourish.
“It’s lots of fun.”
“We get a lot of new expats and mums and dads who are literally trying to find other people to hang out with and Madeleine is the first person to say, ‘What’s your name?’ and then introduce.”
Jade has lived overseas in various places and has only returned to Australia this year. While she was born here and her parents are from here, there was still a reaching for a community to take part in and feel a part of.
“Having an only child, it is really important to have community and also me meeting other mums and dads.”
Modern parenting is more disjointed than in decades gone by, in the sense that a strong community and extended family living close by is not a given as we live differently and a whole array of factors feed into that: economics, affordability, working remotely, to name a few. People are having children later, and often a smaller number.
“I think the biggest thing is that more people are only having one or two kids,” said Jade, “so having social interactions with your children is not only socially beneficial for them, being able to have more physical interactions on sharing, not just saying you need to share, no we are having to deal with the physical interactions- but it is also with mums and dads. We are starting to get more isolated because of that.”
“For mental health-wise and for looking after yourself, it’s super important because you do get isolated and I don’t think it’s just with children but being stuck with just one other person for a huge amount of time would drive anyone crazy so having this and being able to have these spaces to be social and have friends and have shared interests and shared experiences really helps you- and helps other people. It’s really good to feel like you are helping somebody else, to share those interactions.”
What is more, Jade said she doesn’t have space for a jungle gym or sandpit at her house so that is one of the great benefits. “It is clean. It is well maintained but we also help clean it afterwards. We all look after the space.”
Jade’s daughter is having a ball, enjoying the different areas of play.
“Being able to see them, I can have a little bit of a coffee and a relax and everybody looks after each other’s kids,” said Jade as her daughter skips by with her friend.
Her friend is Jake’s daughter, who are are regulars here at playgroup, greeted warmly by fellow families.
“It’s been amazing,” said Jake. “We just moved to Melbourne a couple of months ago and the first day we walked in they made us feel so welcome, gave us something to do every day of the week, this playgroup and another one. It’s just been really good. A great welcome to the area.”
“A great way for the kids to make friends and I’ve made friends as well.”
Larissa is originally from Germany and has been attending the playgroup for around six months with her son.
“It’s really welcoming. We go to quite a lot of playgroups and some of them have really good facilities and some of them you have a good crowd of people and this one sort of satisfies both requirements,” she laughs.
“I think motherhood of a toddler can be lonely sometimes, so you need other mums to commiserate with, laugh and complain to and celebrate the highs and the lows so yeah definitely, playgroups are so important.”
“Obviously it is so important to have somewhere for the kids to go, but equally important for you to not be standing in a playground by yourself in the cold but actually have some people to talk to.”
Larissa has been in Melbourne for six years with her Australian husband and while she does miss some of the cultural vibrance and connectivity of Europe, she thinks Australia is perfect for kids.
“All the outdoor space, all the open spaces, for kids it’s great.”
The outdoor courtyard at this playgroup has been one of the big drawcards for families- a bridge to the fresh air, even in the wintertime. The families wander in and out, and as any architect would know, it creates a ‘flow’ and therefore a comfort to those sharing the space.
Cecilia is the office coordinator at Prahran Place. She has seen the positive impact the playgroup has had on the community.
Cecilia bears witness to the natural way that the playgroup meets so many people where they are, ready with fun and enthusiasm.
“Definitely in terms of social connection there is a lot of that that goes on here that is really important and just having chats with parents, carers and nannies and things like that.”
“I think it can be quite lonely at times when you’re with your children, you love them, but you also need to speak to grownups sometimes during the day and I think that’s a really important thing that we do here. It’s very much the parents as well as the kids. It’s not a childcare where you drop them off, it’s for everyone that is a part of it- it’s the kids and it’s the adults and I think in a world that is more and more isolated with social media and stuff, I don’t think that is an alternative to in-person connection.”
Neil sees that, too.
“What I love about Prahran Place- everyone comes here and everyone is together so we have people from all walks of life, all cultural groups, and as you can see parents and their young children so that’s one of the things that we are very proud of.”
“It’s safe and it’s inclusive, and that’s really our motto, that’s who we are, it’s a place of belonging.”
“They might come in a little bit frightened and a little bit fearful and then when they connect and they are welcomed with a smiling face, you just see them grow and to blossom.”
It was a small gesture that Madeleine offered that parent in the playground, inviting them to playgroup, but for that person, it brightened their day- and each week, they will be welcomed again.
And for that, a big thanks goes out to Madeleine and those like her, who champion playgroup and what it means in the lives of families.
Connect with Prahran Place Playgroup
Article by Sinead Halliday
Photography by Mylie Nauendorf