“I firmly believe it is not an indulgence to play as a child or an adult but a fundamental necessity for everyone no matter what age. Ask a three year old or a 78 year old to catch a ball and the facial expressions and sense of fun is generally the same. You are never too old to stay curious, step outside your comfort zone and take time to play!”
Nancylee Merzel has a great proclivity for laughter and for artistry. She notices the details- her mum taught her how to sew at a young age and she still finds the joy of ‘getting lost in the stitches’. From fabric patterns, to garnishes on top of food, to a funny story shared at her son’s cricket club, Nancylee appreciates the creativity and comedy of everyday life, that can often be taken for granted.
Nancylee has been part of the team at Playgroup Victoria for 18 years, with a little break in-between.
After having children, Nancylee fell into the early years space, something that suited her very well. Over the years she has held various roles at Playgroup Victoria: mapping out playgroups across Victoria, working on reception on the ‘Playgroup Hotline’ as it was called then, membership management, customer relation management website admin and resources for playgroups. Since then Nancylee has woven her way through to her passion area: working directly with people in early years spaces to improve outcomes, specifically to do with family violence prevention.
For the last eight years Nancylee has worked on the primary prevention project All come out to Play!, about embedding gender equality and respectful relationships in playgroups.
She also was part of the Move It 4 Kids initiative, encouraging families to get active and moving. Now as the Social Impact Coordinator at Playgroup Victoria, Nancylee is part of the Koorie Playgroup Network, the Reconciliation Action Committee and examines Child Safety. “All of which I love,” said Nancylee.
We caught up with Nancylee is learn more about her own childhood and her
Do you remember what you hoped to be when you grew up? What were you interested in as a young child?
When I was younger I wanted to work with an airline as cabin crew, however my dreams were shattered when I found that I wasn’t tall enough!
I loved music, my taste is still very eclectic. I had family that worked in radio and TV and I spent plenty of holidays on the NSW north coast with them and we always had fun. I had my own little radio show on 3RRR when I was 15, called Pandemonium. I was lucky my teachers allowed me to build it in to my curriculum so I could continue with it. I was always creating something with my hands. My mother taught me to sew and knit, and I still find the joy of ‘getting lost in the stitches’.
What were some of the highlights of your own childhood?
Times playing as a toddler with the dog and the cows. Getting milk from the milk shed for my mum and dad (We lived on a dairy farm.)
Our family spent most holidays in Victoria with relatives and my grandparents on the farm. I remember making cubby houses in the hedge, riding in the back of grandad’s ute and playing in the chook sheds. We would play games and even as I got older, we played card games at every visit.
We lived near VFL Park (aka AFL Park) and I would attend many football games with my dad and we would walk to and from the game and my mother would have a hot milo ready for me when we got home.
As a teenager summer days were spent in the backyard by the pool, listening to music and making mix tapes.
What special values and traits have your parents passed onto you?
“It costs nothing to smile and use manners”, “Work hard and you can be whatever you want to be”. My parents were always our biggest champions. Respect was a huge thing in our house. Respect elders, authority, different opinions, lifestyles, how we treat others.
My parents were open and social, they had lots of ‘gatherings’. Always dancing and laughing. We would spend nights playing records and singing at the top of our voices. They encouraged my brother and I to be creative both literally and figuratively speaking. We both enjoy creative pursuits.
You have two sons, now both in their twenties. What has the experience like, watching them grow into young men?
The boys are the joy of my life (I know every parent says that!)
I had my boys close together so it was a little busy when they were little, but they have grown into great people and I couldn’t be prouder of them. They still spend time together and enjoy each other’s company. They have a very strong bond and I love that about their relationship.
They were challenging and fun when they were little, like any parent I was learning on the hop! I was lucky that the first one was easy as he slept through the night from the first night home from hospital, the second however was completely different. I had no family in Melbourne from when the boys were both under three.
My mothers group turned into a playgroup and that was my support network. I am still close friends with those families and so are the boys. We did the ‘meet at home’ thing when they were babies and very early they were cafe kids.
After walking around the Maribyrnong river we would go to the original Boathouse or Poynton’s. A few of us wanted to attend a space where the children could socialise with other children and expand their play experiences and let’s face it, it was easier to do messy play somewhere else other than our homes and there was a large variety of toys and activities for them. We would go to a playgroup located at a church hall and we spent loads of time at Melbourne Zoo. We could allow the children to play and run around together within the zoo grounds while us adults debriefed and solved the problems of the day.
“All of us had messy times in our lives at some stages and we were each other’s support network. I really think it’s true that you start going to playgroup for the children without realising how big a support it is for you.”
“I can remember a day when I had only just managed to get out of the house with a baby and toddler, dishevelled and sleep deprived. I walked through the playgroup door and burst into tears. The group rallied and looked after the boys for a little while so I could have a cup of tea. Those shared experiences stay with you. This was my ‘village’.”
There was no internet or Google on my phone back then (I was lucky to have a little Nokia) and we would take photos and have them developed!! Sounds like the olden days but it really wasn’t that long ago. In some ways I think we were lucky as we had no pressure to keep up with everyone else and put on a facade, when lets face it, parenting is hard.
The boys learned so much through their interaction and play experiences with others at our playgroup. Much more than I had realised at the time. They also have lifelong friends.
You have been part of the All come out to Play! program for a number of years. The program is about gender equality and respectful relationships in the early years. Can you tell us more about how the program first began?
ALL Come Out to Play! was the reason I returned to Playgroup Victoria and has been one of the most rewarding pieces of work I have done.
Helen Rimington from Drummond Street Services contacted Playgroup Victoria and Amanda Testro from Hullaballoo Music for All to collaborate on a primary prevention project that would challenge the gender stereotypes, a key driver for family and domestic violence. We would be doing this in early years settings- and how on earth do you do this??
Helen had the vision to use music to facilitate engagement and embed messaging about what can be considered a challenging topic, using a storyline, a little comedy and music.
The creative process started in 2017 and has evolved over the last eight years.
Since the program began, we as a tri-partnership, have worked with thousands of families and early years professionals to embed gender equality in everyday play and practice across Victoria, interstate and internationally.
This program is fun, engaging and intentional, which supports primary prevention of the huge problem that is domestic and family violence in our country.
The simplicity and creativity of the program is its superpower.
“What we know is that research confirms that children start understanding gender during their toddler and preschool years with their parents and carers being the most powerful influences in a child's life.”
ALL Come Out to Play! is a unique, innovative evidence-based prevention initiative delivered in early childhood settings across Victoria. Our live music show and interactive story book uses a strong narrative, incorporating music, a little humour, movement, focus and intentional imagery, role modelling and discussion prompts to spark conversations about respectful relationships.
It is non-confrontational, inclusive, engaging and our research confirms that content creates behaviour change.
This is a powerful medium for raising awareness and embedding gender equality messages. This project is unique and a leader in the early years space.
We all want our children to have equal opportunities and respectful relationships. As they grow, something as simple as providing different play experiences and imagery can provide a child with increased neurological growth and a different perspective that resonates with them or something that they want to explore further. We ask, “Is this a girl toy or a boy toy? Does it matter? Why can’t they play with it?” Simple questions like these really open conversation.
The early years is the perfect time to provide our children with as much variety and experience as we can. We know that brain development in the first 3,000 days of a child’s life is formative and that they soak up the information, both with intention and without.
I reflect on this and hope that I provided the variety for my children (even if by accident rather than design) and that this has helped to shape them into the men they are today. It is true when people say, “If I only knew then what I know now.” By presenting this information in the playgroup space we also engage parents and educators. That extends these messages into the home learning environment.
What response have you received about the ALL Come Out to Play! program?
Evaluation of the project showed that 97 per cent of respondents agreed that training enhanced their knowledge about the drivers of family and domestic violence. Nearly all parents enjoyed the music and activities just as much as their children, but more importantly, many learned something new. They thought about how they parent their own children and considered that they may do things differently in the future.
We are now at a point where we are extending the projects reach and sustainability, through online platforms, curriculum and training courses.
What kind of feedback has demonstrated the power of delivering the All Come Out to Play! program in early years spaces?
I love this feedback from a team we worked with at the Box Hill TAFE.
“We embraced this session from varied perspectives – to incorporate the program into our own PlayBox playgroup sessions (facilitated by students) and to also incorporate the content into our delivery of the Certificate III and Diploma of Early Childhood Education and Care. For our teachers to have solid and current information about gender equity and inclusive practices is so important…as in turn they then share this with the early childhood students, who then undertake placement and continue to share the learnings with the EC sector.”- Janine Johnston, Faculty of Health, Community, Disability & Animal Sciences Coordinator - Early Childhood and Education Support Programs Box Hill TAFE.
How do you feel after eight years of working on the All Come Out to Play! project?
I am passionate about this project and the outcomes that are possible. Perhaps not in my lifetime but in that of my children’s generation.
“I know from first hand experience that playgroups can be a safe place for many and there are supports available for those who may be experiencing family violence or they know someone who is.”
This work can be heavy at times and I find that diving into my creative space of stitching and quilting by hand or swimming allows me to actively take self care.
My role in this project has been varied being administrator, project planning and logistics, advocate, performer, promoter, student, educator, trainer, tour manager, driver, public speaker and project lead.
In a broader capacity, I coordinate Playgroup Victoria’s child safety commitment and the Koorie Playgroup Network, working alongside passionate and dedicated colleagues. Partnering with amazing Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander organisations has brought immense joy and friendship to my own educational journey. Acting as an ally, I am consistently inspired by their integrity, resilience, and openness; their collective voice and intentionality profoundly strengthen our shared connections and understanding.
When you reflect on your life and work, what stands out as most important to you?
“Within this busy world we live it is so important to put the phone down and really connect with our own lives, our children and our community as the time goes so fast.”
Stay curious and I firmly believe it is not an indulgence to play as a child or an adult but a fundamental necessity for everyone no matter what age. Ask a three year old or a 78 year old to catch a ball and the facial expressions and sense of fun is generally the same. You are never too old to stay curious, step outside your comfort zone and take time to play!
Learn more about the All Come Out to Play! program here.
Take part in an online and interactive professional development session about embedding gender equality in the early years. There will be singing and dancing!
Article by Sinead Halliday
Photography courtesy of Nancylee Merzel and Sinead Halliday